power in visibility: jay (he/they)

This Trans+ Awareness Week (13–19 November 2026), Not a Phase is sharing the stories of ten trans+ community members. These are people living ordinary lives across the UK. Each was given a disposable camera and asked to document a single, simple prompt: the “power” they’d want the world to recognise in them. The resulting images, alongside short interviews in participants’ own words, are below; 

Jay is a trans man from rural Llanelli, helping create a space in his small town where trans+ people can feel safe and live joyfully as themselves.

Lately, as toxic as it sounds when I start thinking about it, is the male privilege. Before I would go into the corner shop and I would get odd looks. Now I go in and the boss is like, ‘alright boss man’ or if I go to the barbers, they stand straight up to me a handshake and treat me like royalty. It’s just a massive turn around from before where people just stare at me. When they’d open doors and wouldn’t say hello to me, or just push past me. They don’t know I’m trans+. It’s like, oh, if only they knew.

I’m really excited about being part of this campaign. I never thought I would be doing something like this in my life. When I came out, I just wanted to hide away and not let anyone know I was trans. I’ve just found power within myself. I think it’s really important to have different kinds of trans people out there, being given this platform to speak and show that not every trans person looks the same. I’m fat, plus sized, I’m half Indian and I’m just little old me just trying to make a difference. Everytime I look online, I see a trans person and they are gorgeously beautiful. They are physically fit and I can’t help but compare myself.

I’m like, I wish I had that body hair. I wish I was that fit. I’d compare myself to another trans man and it would bring on so much dysphoria. I would struggle with it, but now I’m like, all right, this is cool. I can be plus size. I can have little bald patches in my beard where it hasn’t started growing yet, that’s okay, because that’s me. That’s my life. That’s my journey. It’s just amazing and I love it. I hope other people can be like, oh, I look similar to this person, and they’re not physically fit or skinny or got abs and they just find comfort and happiness in themselves.

I’ve done a lot of jobs in my life. A lot of them were customer facing and none of them knew I was trans. Then when I would overhear people talking about it, ‘have you seen in the media the trans agenda’ they wouldn’t have a clue and they’d be looking at me and talking to me, not knowing I was trans and like you do know a trans person, you just don’t know it. People don’t need to know trans people but we do exist. Trans people exist. We always have, we always will. It’s not relevant to other people’s lives. It’s our lives and what we choose to do with it. We’re not a debate. We’re not up for debate. Other people do not have a choice on what we do with our lives and what we want to do with our lives, and it’s just all about acceptance. It’s not affecting them, so they shouldn’t be affecting us. But that’s what’s happening right now. I think people just need to chill. It’s all good to support us, that’s all we want. We want healthcare, that’s really important, and we just want to live our lives how we want to with no judgment.

Community to me means finding a group of people with like minded souls. They have your back even when you’re not around. They will fight for you if you can’t fight for yourself. It’s being able to choose your own family and having a sense of belonging. It’s just beautiful to see it, to experience it, to witness other people being able to find their own community when they’ve walked in, a little bit lost, and then they’re like, oh this is where I belong, these people are like me. If you can’t find it and you want something, make it and they will come and if not, there’s loads of groups out there. The best thing for the trans community is they are so welcoming. The whole community is, they’re just safe people who have gone through it. I would say the same bus journey, different stops. We’re all  trying to get to the place we want to be and we’re all here to help each other. As scary as it can be and it can be, the community is just a lush place to be part of.

Before I had this business, I started going to Cardiff a lot, even before I came out. I was like,

oh, okay, this is cool. I was going to the cream emporium. Sadly, they have just closed, but they are coming up with a new project. I’m excited, but it was another queer safe place where I could go with other people, and it just helped me so much in my journey. I was seeing other trans people and realising, oh, I feel similar. I didn’t know this existed, this makes so much sense why I feel so different to everyone else. It started to help me on my journey and started to make sense of my thoughts. It’s just having those groups there, safe spaces. It can be so scary when you think there’s no safe place to go to. So having businesses that say we’re safe. We accept all kinds of people. We accept the trans community, just being able to walk through the door. Oh, I can breathe. I could drop my shoulders. You could just exist there quietly. Or you can start talking to people. It’s just amazing to have spaces like that around.

I would say to someone that had never met a trans person, go into it with curiosity and not judgment. There’s so much to learn from trans people. Being able to show up in life and be like, this stereotypical norm is not for me. This binary isn’t for me and to go against that and see there’s much more in the world and so much more to life. I feel like a lot of people could learn so much about it and it’s just a beautiful thing to witness. I myself have so much more learning to do. There’s so much out there, but just being able to find that power within myself and saying I am trans and I’m more than happy to speak to other people because I have been able to have a voice and a platform to be able to speak. Not all trans people want that, and that’s absolutely valid. We’re not Google, you can go on Google and learn yourself. But if there’s people there that would like to speak, it’s amazing. Always with curiosity, never with judgement because you could just learn so much.

It’s been a massive change for me, opening a business in such a small town. It would have been so easy to go to a city where there is a much larger community. It would have been easier business wise, many more ways to stay afloat, people being okay with it.  In these smaller towns there is no representation, there is no visibility, it can be scary. People are more sheltered in the smaller towns. So it was so important to me to be that person. I was like yeah, I’m trans, I’m opening a business, I’m opening a coffee shop, I’m doing massage and for other people to see that that’s cool. If this trans person could do it, I can do that, I can go and get a job, I can live my life in a small town. That’s what’s so important to me because I think of little Jay being so scared to walk out in the streets, to go to the corner shop, to go to a public toilet, scared of what other people think or do. I find it so important that there’s somewhere in this small town for other people to come to and feel safe and be able to live their true self.

We chose to stay in Llanelli. It was random, It was unexpected. A client messaged saying, my father’s shop is going up for rent. It might be good for you. We came in, we had a look, my partner didn’t think it was doable, I was like, yeah, we could do it. I love a good project, I love DIY and it just spiraled. It was mental. We kind of just fell into it. We just went for it. We thought, Why not? What’s the worst that can happen? It doesn’t work, okay.  It went from one step to another. We were just supposed to do massages, maybe a little kettle on the side. Then, I could build a coffee bar. I could do that, I’m a trained barista, let’s go for it. Then one by one, the community started coming in and saw that I was a trans person running this space. One by one, they were coming in and like, oh, I would love to do this, can we have a book club? There’s nowhere around that I feel safe to go, there’s nowhere queer or trans inclusive, and I’m like sure, would you like to run the door and it went from there. The community spoke what they needed, what they wanted from a small town and we’re like, we could be that place. They help us, we help and it’s become such a massive community hub. I would never be who I am without the support of the community. We would never have this space if it wasn’t for the trans+ community and the LGBT community. If it wasn’t for the community, I wouldn’t have this voice. I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be on the front line shouting, protesting, because I would never have the courage. I would never have found the power I had within myself.

We were both born and raised in Llanelli. It’s a very small town. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone knows each other’s business. For me it’s been quite a big struggle. I’ve been learning about myself a lot these past couple of years. It’s a quite white town. I always grew up knowing that I’m different. I don’t look like these people. I’m half Indian myself, and it was scary. I came out as bisexual and it wasn’t accepted. I came out as lesbian. It wasn’t accepted. Then when I started learning about myself, I’m actually trans. I was too scared to come out because I didn’t know how I could live in this small town. I did it because if I can’t live as myself, that’s not a world I want to be a part of. So I did that. I went for it. I met my partner, and my partner was born and bred in Llanelli too. We’ve seen each other in the backgrounds of pictures we didn’t know about. That’s how much of a small town it is. I’ve had more experience going to Cardiff, traveling and it opened up my mind so much. It goes back to being curious, not judgmental. But there’s so much more out there. I wanted to be that person in Llanelli. If there’s any little Jay’s, any little trans people who felt similar, if they heard me or they saw me just existing, being myself, running a business, it might help them live as their true selves.

I think it’s so important that there is more visibility and representation in small towns.  Queers and trans people are everywhere. It may not seem like it, but we are. We are here. We do live. We do exist. If we don’t have representation in smaller towns, people may feel so isolated. So it’s really important that we show up. But if you have the power, you have the self trust just go for it. The community will help you, the community will support you and I will. I’ll back you up, drop me a message. I’ll be there.

Since coming out, since opening the business, since living as my true self in this small town, my relationship with the town has completely changed. Before I came out, I hated this place. I didn’t want to be here. I thought, there must be more to life than this. How can I get out? But since having this massive opportunity, since we’re given this platform and this space and the community, I have fallen in love with Llanelli again. It’s an odd town. It’s your typical small town, but there’s so much beauty between the lines. We’ve got the longest beach in Wales. We’ve got beautiful coastal paths, beautiful woodland. The characters in town, you can laugh and banter with them. It’s all from being here in the shop, from me being like, I’m here, I’m existing, I’m running this place. I am a trans man. I have trusted myself. I have become more confident. If you met me four, three years ago, I was so shy, timid and scared.

I didn’t want anyone to see me. I didn’t want to be in photos, nothing. People have been giving me opportunities. They’ve gone like, I believe in you. I trust you, can you be the first trans man to host Swansea Pride? Like, okay. I thought if I don’t, there may not be a trans man. I want people to see that I have been scared. I have been shy. But if I can do it, anyone can do it. I fell in love. I will go into town on a weekly walk, just going around and I’ll say hello to everyone. I’m just not scared of who I am anymore. I’m not scared of being trans. There’s so much power behind being trans and I think it is so beautiful. It just takes time to find that within yourself and you can and you will. I trust you. I’m here.

That you can just exist as yourselves, as any way that you want to. There’s no right way or wrong way for being trans. It can be scary, but it is beautiful. I am just showing up as myself. I’m just Jay, if anyone can find similarities in that, who could be like, oh, I can do that as well.

If this person can, I can do it. That’s all I want out of everything I do in life. If I could just help one person who sees my stuff and thinks, I feel similar, I’d be so happy. Because that’s all I wanted when I was growing up, is finding someone who is similar to me, but I can see myself in them as well, they have similarities to my journey or my mind or what I’m thinking, and it just helps you bring a bit of relief. But this world isn’t as big as we think it is, it isn’t as scary as we think it is. There’s just so much out there, so much beauty, joy and trans joy, and it’s just amazing to be part of it. If anyone wants to reach me, I have Instagram, please message, come to the space. I can help you find other spaces close around. If you make it, they will come. We can work on loads of stuff together. There’s just a massive community out there, and it’s just about reaching out and finding our community.

The media has a lot of negativity on the trans community, and it could be very scary, if you don’t know the trans community, if you’re not part of it or you’re not aware of it, you’ve just read what’s in the media. We are always raised to not believe everything that’s in the media,

and people need to remember that. I would love for people who see me behind the counter to experience what it’s been like in my life, in my shoes. It’s beautiful. It’s supportive. It’s friendly. I’ve never gone to a place and had judgment. Any safe place I’ve gone to It’s been with love. I could go to the Queer Emporium here and you’re treated with kindness, not judgment. Treated with curiosity and not judgment. We do not have a hidden agenda. We just want to live. We want to exist as ourselves. We should be entitled to healthcare as everyone else is. We should not be refused anything that everyone else is treated for. There’s nothing scary about it. There’s nothing wrong about it. We have every right to live our lives. Trans rights are human rights, and that’s just the end of it. It’s not a debate. There’s nothing more going on behind the scenes. We do not have a gang or jackets. We are just human beings, existing and living our life to it’s fullest potential.

There’s just no evidence whatsoever to prove any of it. It’s misinformation. It’s scary for young people coming out in their journeys or all the people just starting to come out in their trans journeys. All they see in the media is negativity. It’s the NHS stopping surgeries. It’s scary. It makes you not want to come out. It makes you want to shelter in, just because people are believing the misinformation in the media, you would see the news and you’d be like oh my God, that is the truth. That is gospel. I should listen to that because these people know what they are on about but they don’t. They don’t have lived experience. It’s most likely the statistics. They don’t know a trans person. If they went into curiosity and not judgment, this could be completely different. There could be a massive change. We’re just here existing living, full stop. Done. We’re not coming after anything. I’ve created a business here. What am I doing? I’m not coming out to hurt you. I’m not coming to steal your bread away from the shop. I enjoy baking myself full stop. I’ve worked in Costa, I’ve been a cleaner. I’ve worked in Wilkos. Every time I’ve done these jobs, I’ve gone into them to help people as much as I can. They have no idea and then they believe the media.

If I could say anything to the trans+ community, I would want them to know that we see you.We love you. You are loved. There is a community out there. I know you may be in a small town or in the big city and you might feel a little lost right now, but we are here. The community is here, It’s just around the corner and you will find it, have trust in yourself. You have so much power within yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you. It may be rough, you might hit speed bumps along the way, but the people that you find along the way will help you in your chapters to come. If you don’t know where to start I’m here, part of Primavera Wellness space & T-boi Creates. We are Wales’ first inclusive wellness space and I am so proud that as a trans man. We hear you. We see you. Drop us a message.